Seeing that this would be one of the longest "post-exam" periods I will experience in my life...I now turn to "bloggin'" to while away the time. Job-hunt has more or less halted because I have already accepted the fact that I do not have the least intention of finding a job, even though the phrase "我找不到工作" has been hanging by the side of my mouth for quite some time now. That being said, I still wouldn't find a temporary job to keep my finances going.
More interestingly, I was supposed to meet my class at Jurong East at 11am but I overslept as usual. (a normal consequence of bizarre late night sleeping habits) My mum woke me up at 11 plus and asked for companionship to buy some biscuits from a factory. Seeing that I had not much money left to attend the class outing anyway, I decided to do a good deed and stand my class up for my mum. Haha. 6 boxes X 24pkts of Hello Panda!...Total cost: Approx. $55. That breaks it down to 40 cents per box. Which is????.... Awesomely cheap?!?! Yea. Time to gorge myself with chocolate-infused biscuits with cute panda prints on them. Yum. *Mouth waters and drips all over the keyboard*
I wonder if my class is having fun cycling at east coast park...I realise many of my friends have really bad spending habits, which are really draining my "allowance"(inverted commas cuz I don't really have one. sad eh?). Me and my mum have a solemn relationship but we still joke around and stuff, but not quite often though. I really hate asking for money and to get around this, I should be looking for a job. But...you know, life isn't all about working. I make it up to my mum by doing some chores like washing dishes and vacuuming the floor or helping her to troubleshoot stuff with no complaints at all. (But I guess its what every filial kid should help his/her mum with, if you don't, shame on you. No offense but its really just my POV)
On the other hand, me and my bro's relationship wasn't all that good for the past 18 years. We fought and laughed and cried and many other stuff. Our relationship was akin to an electrograph. And this graph has been stifled gradually as we grew older. However, I found a way to actually bond with my brother...Ironically, it was online gaming that brought us back closer together. There are things that I really want to say to him sometimes but I just can't get it out of my mouth. I find saying "sorry" or "thanks" to my friends a lot simpler than doing the same to my family. I don't know why, but sometimes I feel that they already know and I kind of got used to not minding my manners when facing my family. I mean, it would be kind of weird to change now right? Still, I hope I will one day have the courage to actually do so, soon. I do not want to live in regret after... Yea... Man can't live forever, we should just make full use of the few decades in our life.
On a lighter note, today, besides the plan to go to the class outing, I wanted to go to clairebear's house with mifen to chill out, primarily because it doesn't drain my money, and I wanted to smack his ass for draining my money...IN DIABLO 2. HaHa. Yet, Man proposes and God disposes. Another group of unfamiliarities will be making their way to this house on this fateful day. So much for chillin' and the long-awaited ass slapping.
I prefer to think of this blog as my personal memoir of my daily thoughts and feelings because I don't really want to lose them. This is also one of the reason I don't think I will put a tagbox. It makes it look so much less professional. You know? (I may be wrong and go back on my word though) Sometimes I think a lot about things and I don't write them down (No, I don't have a dairy). Time pasts, and I forget about them. Feels really melancholic if you ask me. Since I have not been writing stuff down for many years now, I shall just spam all I can in a single post with everything I can still remember...Wringing my brain dry.
DreamsI do not know if any of you guys have weird dreams. But sometimes when I sleep in a certain manner, very interesting and weird dreams just spawn in my nightly slumber land. Heh, my all-time favourite idol would be Jay Chou, and I think most of you would have already known that by now. (that would be so easy since onli a handful of people reads this anyway) One of this weird dreams include me boarding a bus and saying "Yo 周杰伦" to jay chou himself. Yes. He is the bus driver. Roflmao. Another one includes me climbing a ladder of some sort into the sky. The next moment I know, I was falling into an abyss. I think this was because I was mildly afraid of heights when I was younger and I was forced to ride some free-fall amusement ride like "space-shot". Haiz. Most of my dreams were fantasies by the way, THIS TOTALLY DOESN'T MEAN I'M HORNY OKAY? It just means I'm deprived. I'm a guy. It's normal.
MusicSince young, like in primary school, I idolised Jay Chou and listened to most of his songs. He is a really talented person who pretty much owns many of the pretty boys in the chinese music industry. Biased much? Haha. Though, recently I became obsessed with rock and screamo stuff...I mean, its really ironic because I used to hate it when I hear singers do those loud screams and stuff. Now? I like it. A. Lot. Living proof that tastes and preferences really do change with time. Could be the environment. Could be my own personal self. Who knows? There are some mysteries that were never meant to be solved in life. But I think I always had an inner desire to listen to rock. I mean it all started with mainstream music with a fast beat (Rihanna's disturbia), then it progressed to mainstream rock (Face down and In Fate's Hands by RJA, "Give it all" and "Injection" and "Savior" by Rise Against, or maybe MCR), and finally...Pure Rock and Screamo. (Escape the Fate, Rise Against, Silverstein, Bullet for my Valentine, Atreyu, etc...)<- Yes I just ranked them lol. If you ever feel that you want to explore other genres of music, you can try listening to the ones I listed. Yep.
FriendsI have many acquaintances but not as many friends. I like to carefully select my friends because I believe in this self-modified phrase - "You are what you 'be with'(eat)"<- I forgot the actual saying that describes this thingy...I mean, come on, I'm human, I forget stuff. Its normal. So is your mum. (I can't get raywilliamjohnson out of my head. HE IS JUST SO FREAKIN' amazing and godly.)
Anyway, enough of the bullshit, I don't mind making lots of acquaintances,(cuz many benefits can be reaped from doing this, I'm just being practical, in a practical world) but I will only open up to those people that I feel I can really connect with. *Solemn expression and teary eyes* However, if I feel that a person has changed till the extent that she\he is keeping important stuff from me and doing stuff behind my back or with hidden agenda with a malicious intent, I would flick them away like my little nose goblins. I am not a saint and I admit my patience runs out pretty quickly. (Of course, I do believe in "Forgive and Forget", but it really just depends on the situation, timing and mood. Sometimes, things cannot be undone and they do irremediable damage to the fragile fabric that we call friendship. As I always say, friendship needs constant care and maintenance) People need to accept flaws in friends and also look deeper into the latter and appreciate their merits and virtues. If you don't like something about them, tell them. If they don't change it and its not serious, then accept it. (I don't normally dare to do this, but I really hope to do it. I am quite a shy person. I just act not shy. Fo'Reel!)
Also, sometimes when you grow distant with another person, trying to revisit that friendship isn't always a bad idea. But, I just have one more thing to say for this section...CHOOSE YOUR FRIENDS WISELY! Haha. But don't set your standards too high. Sometimes you think you are good enough for someone but in actual fact, you don't see your own flaws. You don't have to change much to suit the preferences of your friends, rather, you should find people who accept you for who you are. All in all, self-reflection one of the best way to explore your own personal integrity.
There are still many things I wanted to write down but I forgot some of them along the course of typing. If I remember, I will definitely put them down in ink. (Not literally, lol) Its not for your amusement, rather, its for my own personal safekeeping. Yet, it comforts me that someone is actually reading until this very last line, because I know this person would have learned a lot more about me after this particular uber long post.
Still, there are some secrets that I will carry with me till the day I enter the cold muddy grave embedded in Singapore's (insert adj here) ground. Its for me to know and for you to NEVER find out. Hehe. Buh Bye.
The eve of 2010. A very auspicious day. Countin' down...
Fin.
EDIT: Guips and Qian Ting arrived unexpectedly at my house as I was finishing up this post lol. Wii'ed a bit. Now it is nighttime, and I just got the letter for my enlistment. 12th April. Wow. Late much? Anyone got the same date as me? HOPE FOR DA BEST!
